The title, and one phrase appearing in the main text, are from a book produced for young children with the intention of cajoling them into reconciling themselves to the inexorability of their biological destiny.
"The devil's handshake" for masturbation is as far as I know my own coinage, although a quick online search reveals that Urban Dictionary holds a different and if anything lewder definition.
lyrics
The head teacher is a patient man. Nevertheless,
He has a job to do, an assembly to address
On the evils of masturbation, the devil’s handshake.
He blinks, and again it is 2021. His notes
Tremble momentarily in his grasp. He clears his throat.
A child breaks wind. There is stifled laughter.
“Today we are going to talk about our bodies”.
More laughter. “You see, I am my body. You
Are your body. That’s how it is. It can’t be changed.
That much is obvious”. A hand goes up.
“I want to be a robot”. “Don’t be facetious.
You are a boy, as anyone can see. One day
You’ll be a man, like me”. His vision blurs.
The children’s eyes glow red, out of their open
Mouths pour viral curses, screeching like a broken modem.
He wakes in sweat, gasping, “God! Christ!”
“I’m not ok! I’m not ok!”
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